eBay Bra Wars

Before Lance Armstrong was blood doping and injecting himself with EPO, Tour de France cyclists were drinking beer, liquor, and any other kind of booze they could get their sweaty hands on to help push themselves through the pain of the strenuous journey. At some point, it was realized that it was best to save that beer for after the race, but the stories of the cyclists raiding a bar on the route and chugging wine passed out by spectators tell me that athletes have always been in search for that “extra something” or “secret formula” in order to excel past their current limitations.

Counting down the final weeks of Boston Marathon training when I have only just begun, has lead me to look at ways in which to boost my performance without adding additional stress to my body.  The second most obvious way (the first being to cut back on the beer drinking) is to take energy gels during the marathon instead of relying solely on Gatorade.  I previously raced using only the Florida Gator’s signature sports drink because I read that a cup of Gatorade gave you the same amount of energy as a gel.  However, I also read that I should walk through the water stations, but for various reasons that’s not going to happen.  And since I splashed almost every bit of the small cups of Gatorade I was able to grab during the Marine Corps Marathon (I got completely blocked out of the first station), I knew coming in to training that I needed a new source of fuel.

However, my biggest problem has not been learning to swallow the warm GU without gagging (I’m just going to save us all and not go there.), but instead it was the same darn dilemma that every girl faces on almost a daily basis – What am I going to wear??

Aside from the one or two freebies on the course (or if you are lucky enough to be an elite and get to tape them to your bottle service), in order to consume gels during a marathon, you have to carry them with you on the run.  And sure, you can find plenty of fuel belts, longer shorts with gel lops, and tips on safety pining your nutrition to your shorts, but I just can’t believe those ideas would be comfortable – or as cute as my Nike boyshorts that I wore in the Marine Corps Marathon.

Luckily though, the clothing crisis was averted when I caught two big breaks.  The first was discovering that Nike had a new pair of boyshorts that not only have the back zipper pocket like my old pair (a rarity!) but they also have two inside pockets for gels.  Yes – to the average person, it probably appears as if I bought the exact, same pair of boyshorts again, but trust me – these new ones are so much better!

My second big break came in the form of a tip from another female runner about an amazing bra.  While this bra can hold more boosting power than any other I have ever tried on, it is not the Miracle bra, Wonder bra, or any other kind of push-up bra that you would find in a Victoria Secret magazine.  Instead, it is the Lululemon “Stuff Your Bra” bra.  With pockets built in to the bra, you can easily and safely tuck in two gels (one over each boob) and perhaps fool a guy or two at the starting line in to believing that female distance runners are more well-endowed than we really are.  The only hiccup with my new marathon support was that Lululemon was no longer carrying the bra!

And thus began the eBay Bra Wars.

After perusing the eBay website, I quickly learned that my new gel bra was about as hot a commodity as a Princess Diana beanie bear in the late 90s.  (Oh yes, I made my mother wait in hour-long lines and buy hundreds of those things, but getting my hands on the Princess Diana bear was one of my first tastes of sweet success.)  Scalpers had evidently stocked piled the bras and were selling them on eBay for as much as $125!

Having difficulty not only swallowing a gel but also the cost of an exorbitantly-priced bra, I decided to try my luck at bidding.  However, after doing some quick research on how to win an eBay auction, I learned that winning an auction may take more skill that scoring big at a Las Vegas’ blackjack table.

After having my first bid on a black Lululemon “Stuff Your Bra” bra quickly overturned, I decided to follow the suggestions in my research and put in my highest and final bid with only a minute to go.  Sure – I felt a little bad about “sniping” the bra as they call it, but I justified my ruthless tactics with the fact that I needed this bra.

Unfortunately, nowhere in my research did it say that you should confirm that you are signed-in to eBay before placing your bid, and how am I honestly supposed to remember my username and password?  I have like a million usernames and passwords!  Needless to say, I stayed up late to win my bra and failed to even get in a bid.

After being left feeling utterly deflated by my eBay bra failure, I decided that I would never again bid on anything on eBay – That is, until another “Stuff Your Bra” came on that auctioning block, and this one was pink! – which should have at least added a few dollars to its worth.  Thus, I resolved to learn from my mistakes and try again!

I have to admit that it was pretty heated and perhaps a little dirty.  Signed in to eBay with five minutes to go on the auction, I placed my bid but this time I allowed eBay to begin bidding for me.  With ten minutes to go, I had already seen some movement in the price and sure enough, after I placed my bid, some size-four chick or perverted man upped his bid as well.  The war was on.

I increased my max bid once or twice in the last two minutes of the auction (can’t remember exactly since my adrenaline was pumping and I kind of blacked out), and I made sure to make my max bid end in .03 instead of an even dollar amount in case my competition and I landed on the same amount. 

I may have screamed as much at my computer as I did at my television during the Carolina-Duke basketball game, but the result was the same – victory!  I am now the proud owner of a hot pink Lululemon “Stuff Your Bra” bra.  And it was only $58.  Yeah, I know, I’ll pack it away with the beanie babies one day.

Boston Experiment Week 8 of 16:  31.5 miles with two days of easy aqua jogging 

Expected mileage to be low since I took the first part of the week off.  I had two training runs – 1) nine-mile workout with 2 x 10 minutes at 5K/Half-Marathon Pace and 2) 20-mile long run with first 16 miles ran at 7:30-8:00 pace and last four at 6:30-7:00

This Week’s Beer Choice:  Bear Republic’s Racer 5 IPA (Bought a six pack of this favorite in hopes that it would get me in the racing spirit!)