I’m My Own Worst Enemy

Some people’s ideal Sunday FunDay involves sitting around drinking beer while watching football or perhaps enjoying mimosas during a leisurely brunch.  Mine, on the other hand, consists of waking early to an alarm, pounding out a long run, and then coming home to some recovery food and an afternoon of napping.  Until two weeks ago, I have been desperately missing my Sunday RunDay.  Even when I was stripping down after my first long run after returning to training (a sixteen-mile progression run) and I could smell the old familiar, sour stench of ammonia (meaning my body had used up its glycogen stores and started breaking down amino acids to use as fuel – probably when I was winding up the run at marathon pace), my first thought was “God – I’ve missed this!”

I now have two solid weeks of running on my post-marathon Brooks shoe purchase, and words cannot express how amazing it feels to be back.  I probably only gained two to three pounds while I was off-track recovering, but I just saw my running body slowly slipping away.   I guess only a marathoner would complain that her boobs are getting bigger.  However – maybe it’s partly mental – but I really do think I’m already feeling leaner and stronger. 

Perhaps worse than my weakening body, I was going crazy having to spend so many dull hours deep water running in the pool.  I made the best of it – I did what I had to do – but damn!  It’s nowhere close to as fun as running outside!  I don’t understand how swimmers can spend hours-on-end staring at a black line at the bottom of a pool.  And people say running is boring!

One thing is for sure and it’s that I don’t want to be injured again.  And there’s only one person who could send me back to rehab and that’s myself.  I have no trainer.  No coach.  No one else to blame but myself if I make a mistake.  I have to take personal responsibility and accountability for the runs I chose to do and when I chose to do them.

And after being out for a few months I am rearing to go!  But like my old horse Star Man who would be prancing all around, nostrils flaring, and unable to stand still or even flat walk when he felt the first touches of fall and its cooler temperatures, I too need to be reined in.

Sometimes I forget how immature my running body is – My first training run was only about a year and a half ago.  And they say it takes seven years before a runner can reach her peak!  The truth of the matter is that I am nowhere close to being capable of piling on the miles and handling the stress of all the hard training that I would like.  If only I had listened to Coach Dodrill, the cross country and track coach at my high school, when he repeatedly told me that I “looked like a runner” and should join the team, then maybe I would capable of running and training much harder today.  But I was a freaking idiot.  I’m pretty sure I somehow took offense to his remarks (Did I not look like a cheerleader??), and it wasn’t until I opened a marathon training book a little over a year ago that I finally got it.

But I will make mistakes and shoot myself in the foot (or rather sprain an ankle, get plantar fasciitis, or pull a muscle) many times.  Even the most careful and conservative runner will most likely get injured at some point.  However, I can try to train smart to decrease my chances.  I’ve already made some aggressive moves – upping my mileage very quickly (from 26 in Week 2 to 51 in Week 3 when I finally felt like my ankle had recovered), and running 30-second repeats that should have been at 5K-10K pace at a 5:15 mile pace instead (Let’s be honest – That’s almost like sprinting.  I can’t run a 5K at 5:15 mile pace.)  And I am feeling the effects and working through them – First it was tight calves, then tights hips, and now my lower left leg feels a little stressed out (probably because it hasn’t had a compression sleeve like my healing right ankle).  But I am doing my best to take the rest when I need it, and I will also cut a run or some mileage in a heartbeat, and I already have.  I take it each day at a time, and I try to only do what I think my body can handle.  Even through these aches and pains, I will say that I feel like I am running extremely well given the time that I’ve been out, and I don’t want to lose what I have. 

However, the next two weeks of training are perhaps the most dangerous.  If I am going to have a follow-up injury to my ankle sprain, I believe it will most likely happen this week or the following week.  And if I get hurt, it’s going to be my own damn fault.  I am my own worse enemy, and my drive and determination can both make and break me. 

Marathon training is all about taking oneself as close to the edge as possible, and after months of being away from running, I really don’t want to fall off it again.

Boston Experiment Week 4 of 16:  52 Miles (Longest run was 15 miles.  Holding mileage consistent with last week to help build base)

This Week’s Beer Choice:  Triple C Brewing Company’s 3C IPA

3C IPA at Triple C Brewing Company

My dog Sugar (R) and her bestie Ella (L) at Triple C

Namaste

Taking running from a runner is almost like taking anti-depressants from the manically depressed.  I didn’t realize how much running elevated my mood until it was gone.  And to think that’s how most people – those who don’t get to enjoy daily runs – live their lives.

In her book Running for Women, Olympic marathoner Kara Goucher described a time when she spent her days sitting around her house eating candy corn, gaining weight, and being depressed while she was injured.  These past few months I have sympathized with Goucher and realized that while she injected humor into the situation, being unable to run is no laughing matter.

While I tried to remain positive, I certainly felt the effects of the loss of my natural daily upper.  However, I was fortunate to still have one thing – my yoga practice.

Even though it still took me a few weeks to get back to my mat, I was able to return to yoga much sooner than I was able to get back to running.  And yoga gave me the opportunity to sweat out my frustration with my injury and refocus my recovery.

In fact, I believe yoga was one of the factors that aided my recovery.  Rehabbing an ankle is all about balancing poses, and in yoga you have plenty of them! Half Moon, Warrior Three, Tree, Eagle – all these poses helped me build a stronger ankle.

I will even stretch that statement a bit deeper and state that I feel like most of the exercises I see out there for runners – whether they are for rehabbing, strengthening, or stretching – are done in some variation during my yoga practice.  Thus, as part of my Boston training, I am committing to try to practice at least twice a week to build strength, stretch, and prevent injury.

Another benefit of my yoga practice and arguably most important is that it builds pain tolerance.  The kind of yoga I practice, hot power yoga at Charlotte’s Y2 studio, isn’t the breathing and chanting stuff some people conjure up in their minds when they think of yoga.  No – this yoga is hard.  You are holding poses until your arms and legs shake, doing chaturanga push up after push up, and doing head stands or crow poses on your “break” all while sweating out a week’s worth of beer in a 105-degree heated room.

In Jillian Michaels’ Yoga Meltdown dvd, Michaels instructs the yogis to “Get comfortable being uncomfortable.”  While Michales was talking about holding a difficult yoga pose, she could have been talking about running.  Half of the challenge with running – especially racing – is getting comfortable with holding uncomfortable paces.  You have to breath the pain in, swish it around your mouth a little, and swallow it down.  You will feel pain everywhere!  If you are at the end of a marathon and you aren’t in pain, then you’re not pushing hard enough.  And if you never feel like you are dying during training, then you will never reach your potential.

Some people are resistant to try yoga because they think all the “Namastes” and “Oms” are weird, and they are afraid that they will be surrounded by a whole bunch of smelly hippies.  Well, the smelly part may be right on target, but I think most people are just afraid to step out of their comfort zone.  And I remember my first few times at yoga, I felt the exact same way!  I didn’t know any of the names of these poses, and I wasn’t flexible (and I’m still not), and I felt a little out of place surrounded by yuppies in their lululemon flying their birds high above their heads (I will never be able to do that!)

But we rarely stretch and grow without stepping out of our comfort zones.  And since I have committed to making 2014 a year of improving, I have to push it to progress. I have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

The light within me honors the light within you.  Namaste.

Boston Experiment Week 3 of 16:  51 miles – all “real” running.  Longest run was a 16-mile progression run.  I’m feeling great and very thankful to be back!!

This Week’s Beer Choice:  Birdsong Brewing Company’s Higher Ground IPA

Photo is courtesy of my friend Mary Cowx who enjoyed a delicious Charlotte Restaurant Week dinner with me at Nan and Byron’s.  Mary is an amazing food blogger, and her pictures are beautiful!!  You do not want to look at her blog while hungry!  Bonus points – Mary is also a runner and is currently training for a spring half marathon!  You can follow Mary at http://www.ferventfoodie.com/

Turning the Corner

This past week, Charlotte has been a buzz of Carolina Panther mania.  The city buses that were displaying a cheerful “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!” just a few weeks ago have been flashing “GO PANTHERS!” and my neighbors have been flying blue and black Carolina Panthers flags from the front porches of their mill houses.  In fact, I think the whole city took down their Christmas decorations and just replaced them with ones celebrating the new January holiday season – Panthers' Playoffs Season.

In addition to hearing predictions about the big game (in case you haven’t heard – it didn’t go so well) and stories about all the excitement (it was a lot), there was the on-going saga over Steve Smith’s sprained knee.

Having sprained my ankle back in late October, I was curious to see how quickly Smith was going to recover.  However, following his progress was a bit perplexing and proved to be more entertaining than the game. 

As if he were reporting his semester grades (which – let’s be honest – probably weren’t as good as his sprained knee), Smith repeatedly rated his progress with a percentage.  And by percentage – I don’t mean 50% better or 90% better – Instead, Smith liked to be a bit more exact…

“Felt good, 71 percent. That’s where I’m at,” Smith said. “I was at 60 (percent) after Monday so today I’m 71.”

Not 72%, Steve??

Later, Steve decides to downgrade his progress to 57%.  Again, you got to hand it to the guy – he likes precision.  So, we assume he had a set back right?

"If we're on a curve, no," Smith said. "If we're on a curving grading system there is no setback. If there's no curve then it's a setback."

Um…WTF?  Is this a joke?  Dude – Are you better or are you worse?  Listening to this guy talk makes me wonder how anyone could have thought we would win this game.

So, I’m certainly not going to try to assign my healing ankle a percentage, but I will say that this past week was the turning point.  The age-old wisdom is that time heals all wounds – But believe me, when you have a running injury, you feel like you will never be 100% again (ok – one percentage).  However, it honestly almost felt like it happened over night – One day this past week, I woke up, and I knew that I had turned the corner.   I knew that I would be returning to training much sooner than expected.  And I knew that I was going to Boston.

So, flight is almost booked!  (I think I’ve become a little obsessed with playing the airline industry as if it were the stock market, but I’m ready to pull the trigger)  And I am starting to allow myself to get excited about the race and being a part of one of the most significant Boston marathons of all time.

However, while I want to jump up and down and give thanks by kissing the ground I run on, I realize that I have a ton of work to do.  But I’m ready.  It’s time to get strong  – Boston Strong.

Boston Experiment Week 2 of 16:  26 Running, 21 Aqua, 47 Total

I honestly meant to get in another pool workout, but I think I actually pulled my hamstring tendon from running in the pool.  My guess is that it is a little more difficult to control my form in the pool, and I repeatedly over-extended my leg because I never had ground to make contact with.  I’m actually at the point where running outside seems healthier than running in the pool….Go Figure.

Next week – if all goes well – I’m returning to actual training runs!

This Week’s Beer Choice:  Coronita Extra!

Keeping to my New Year's resolution, I'm drinking less beer with this 7 fl oz. cutie!  Goes great with my chicken-mango fajitas that I learned to make from my new Runner's World Cookbook!

The Boston Experiment

They say life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.  They also say everything happens for a reason.  I say both quotes are at the very least a little bit full of B.S. and people just say them to make themselves feel better when things don’t go as planned.

One quote that I do believe in is “It is what it is.”  And right now my sprained ankle is better but not 100%.  After trying to throw some miles under my feet a few weeks back, I realized that there was no way that my ankle could stand up to the stress of marathon training at the beginning of the new year.  Thus, I realized it was time to regroup, check my expectations, and make a new plan for Boston 2014.

While researching deep water running, I came across several articles that made claims like “best cross-training because it isn’t really cross-training, it’s running” and read about runners who supposedly didn’t lose any fitness while spending time in the pool instead of on their normal tracks and trails.

Like the quote “everything happens for a reason,” I am a little bit skeptical to say the least.  I think aqua jogging helps, but being the same workout as actually running?  I just can’t believe that. 

However, with an ankle that requires a few more weeks of rehab before it can handle a hard run, I have no other choice but to take a dip in to the pool for my hard training sessions.  I am also logging easy aqua jogging miles to supplement the low mileage that I am actually getting on the road.

And by aqua miles, I am certainly not adding up 25-meter laps.  Instead, time is miles.  So, if I want to run 6 easy miles at an 8:30-mile pace which would normally take 51 minutes, I just do easy aqua jogging for 51 minutes.

To keep this Boston experiment as accurate as possible and to give me an idea of what kind of mileage I am sorta logging, I am adding up my weekly “aqua miles.”  The idea being that as my ankle becomes stronger and we come closer to me (hopefully) running Boston, I will be able to slowly decrease my aqua miles and replace them with real running miles.

If there is any silver lining in my ankle injury and its painfully slow recovery (because people love to believe that there is always a silver lining), it is that the pressure is off for Boston.  I am already looking to the fall’s Marine Corps Marathon as my peak race of the year, and I am just taking what my ankle will give me for Boston.  Hopefully, I will still make it to Boston and hopefully I will be able to appreciate the experience to its fullest since I won’t be stressing about a PR.  However, I still feel strongly that Boston could be a great race for me.   Because – let’s be serious – when I break loose out of my corral on race day, I’m going to run that race like it’s the only one in my life that’s ever mattered.

Boston Experiment Week 1 of 16:  15 Running, 37 Aqua, 52 Total

So, yes, I re-started my training.  It’s a new year, and I decided to regroup and wipe the slate clean.  Plus, December wasn’t all that great anyways.  Other than the fact I couldn’t run much and one of my aqua runs got cut short because of the pool closing (I have to pay more attention to the center's hours), I am happy with the first week.  I felt like I got in some quality training, and I was pleased to feel my ankle get stronger while logging a few miles.

This Week's Beer Choice:  Barrel Trolley I.P.A.

2014 – A Year of Improving

Some people don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions.  Others make a commitment every January only to let it fall by the wayside every February.  I tend to make general goals like “Be healthier,” “Eat Better” or “Exercise More.”  Last year, my new year’s goal was to “Just Be.”  To me, life is about ebbs and flows – You can’t push hard 100% of the time.  Thus, 2013 was a year for me to 1) not move to a new home 2) not switch jobs and 3) find happiness in what I already have.

After allowing my feet to stay planted this past year, I am looking forward to 2014 being a year of improving.  I have brought back out my life plans that I have hidden away in a closet this past year, and I have begun strategically analyzing my possibilities and the stepping-stones required to get there.  From the small things – What home improvement project should I tackle first this year?  To the larger ones – Do I want to do taxes the rest of my life?  (Ok – Does anyone want to do taxes the rest of her life?)  2014 is the year for me to start making decisions and taking actions to get to my ultimate goals.

While I enjoy making professional and house plans, I admittedly get pretty jazzed about improving my running and race times.  I am excited to strive to get faster, but setting running goals – like any goals I suppose – can be quite intimidating.

Reflecting on the past year and a half that I have been consistently lacing up my running shoes, I am so grateful and quite frankly shocked at what I have accomplished.  2012 was the year I really found running and qualified for Boston at my first marathon.  And 2013 was the year that I ran a sub-three hour marathon.

If you had asked me a year and a half ago if I would ever run a sub-three hour marathon, I would have bet money that I would never become capable of such a feat.  I can distinctly remember being out running one day during 2012 Thunder Road training and calculating in my head the mile splits required to run a sub-three hour marathon and thinking that it was crazy sh*t.  And only a year later, I succeeded in reaching that goal – almost by four minutes under the mark and on a sprained ankle.

So, as I take the polar bear plunge in to 2014 and announce that my stretch running goal for the year is to qualify for the 2016 Olympic Marathon Trials in the fall at the Marine Corps Marathon, I remind myself that I have already achieved far more than I ever thought possible.  I absolutely believe that we are all capable of so much more than what we believe.  And so often, we never try to reach our goals or we set ones too low. 

Do I think I can qualify for the Olympic Marathon trials?  I don’t know.  Do I think that it is a crazy goal?  Absolutely!!  But even though I am intimidated by my own ambitions, I am going to push hard in 2014, roll the dice, and see what I can get.

Summary of My New Year’s Running Goals:

1)    Get Ankle 100% Healed

2)    Drink Less Beer

3)    Stretch More – Especially After Running

4)    PR in the Marathon  (Beat 2:56:05)

5)    Qualify for 2016 Olympic Marathon Trials  (B Standard – 2:43:00)

Weekly Miles: 12 miles run/walk (Cross-training:  1 hour of pool running and 4 yoga sessions) – Update on Ankle Recovery and Boston Next Week.

This Week’s Beer Choice:  NoDa Brewing Company’s Jam Session  (Loving the new cans!  Great for tailgating!!)